December 28th, 2008 -- Posted in life |
I got up in the morning [It was Father's day] to my children wishing my husband, ‘Happy Father;s Day’ and planning what they should do to make it special for him. My memory was flooded with thoughts of my Dad whom I had lost last year. The memory of his lying on the hospital bed trying to speak to us came back. When he was alive he would say, ‘Come and sit down I want to talk to you, why are you always so busy?’… but I was always hard pressed for time or didn’t take it seriously not realizing the God has strange ways of making you realize things. I never realized that very soon he will not have the time to speak to me. Very often we take things for granted.
When he was lying on the hospital bed after his fall in the bathroom, he went into coma… he had lost his voice and one could see that pained look in his eyes of wanting to tell me and my sister a lot of things but he couldn’t… he was only able to move his one hand and the painful look of despair in his eyes was all that we saw for 13 days he was bedridden. Dad stayed in the hospital and his condition quickly deteriorated. The value of that breath which we take each day… I realized when we saw him struggling to breathe. continue reading »
April 14th, 2008 -- Posted in General |
Have you ever felt than tingling sensation when you are in a crowd and still lonely !!!! Have you ever experienced when people around you are talking to you …you are hearing but not listening…you are physically present but mentally far away !!!!!! Sometimes that feeling of emptiness when you feel nobody is listening to you !!!!!!!
Being lonely means – I am not able to share my deepest thoughts with anyone. I have issues at home. I have issues at my office. I have issues with my relatives. I have issues with my friends.Mother-in-law……… I am carrying so much of hurt and guilt inside me. I want to do many things, and at times, I need help. I don’t know ,who to ask? I feel lonely. I feel all alone. I feel that no one understands me. Despite all my trials, I fail to share and convey my feelings
Many of you might not agree but I’ve always felt that sometimes loneliness is necessary and an healthy part of life. I don’t know where I came up with that.
I have friends with whom I try to talk about my problems. But they want to tell me theirs first. What is taken quite seriously by me, is considered ordinary by others. What do I do? How will that help? My character, and my thinking. Is something wrong with them? Who will tell me? Who will guide? I feel very disturbed at all the times. I want peace in my mind. I go out to walk alone, but my thoughts don’t leave me anywhere. This agitation of my mind is becoming intolerable. I feel lonely. I want to talk with someone who will understand my point of view and tell me what to do? continue reading »
