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Learning to let go…

A recent tragedy with a friend of mine that led her into depression encouraged me to pen down some thoughts which one has read so many times, one knows it’s tough but the tragedy of life is ‘that it is the only solution’…

She refuses to talk about it and has created a shell around herself which she feels will protect her… we often find solace in our miseries and thinking about what could not be is just a way of making us more miserable. How many of us are able to let the past go and move forward… I know its  easy to say  but very difficult… but then that’s the only solution to any problem.

How many of you have put off and put off sorting through a closet that you know is over-full with obsolete articles of clothing? And how many of you have agonized over whether or not to give an item of clothing away? Or pulled a garment from the give-away pile at the very last minute? One of the most challenging tasks we face in our wardrobe planning endeavors is the letting go of clothes that are no longer serving us.
Letting go of your past – whether it’s quitting an addictive relationship or grieving a death – can be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. Even if it was a painful relationship and you had to let go of your past for your own sanity, you still may struggle with saying good-bye.

Reinterpret your past. Look at an experience you now see as unwise as a single event in a series of events that add up to your life. Then ask yourself what you’ve learned from the decision and enumerate the ways your relationships have changed as a result  Smart or not, your choices have undoubtedly led to new people, passions and insights you wouldn’t have gained otherwise. In short, have no regrets! The fastest way to feel more content with your lot now:  Stop thinking about what might have been-it only fuels discontent. “Look at what you have rather than what you don’t, and your life will begin to take on more depth,”. I made mistakes as part of my learning. I HAD to make those mistakes to see where I can move to next. There is no way I could NOT have made them. Those mistakes are the foundation of new power just as soon as I forgive and release them.

Since more mistakes will always be unavoidable, I will embrace them MORE quickly, forgive MORE easily, so I can more quickly move into POWER.

Forgiving others, and letting them go is good training for forgiving myself. So even if they don’t “deserve” it I will do it for my own sake. I will either get what I want or learn what I need to. Mistakes are just MARKERS, marking out where I can step into new freedom, choice, power and growth.

I may wish I had been born more evolved or perfect, but THIS is my path and I embrace it, I may not always like it, I may slip and grumble, BUT THIS IS MY PATH. I will let my learning’s pull me forward. I will never stop learning until I draw my last breath and in that last breath I will learn what THAT is like as I embrace the source of all learning… right now, today.

Are you bothered by something which has haunted you for a long time? Do you wish things had turned out differently, or feel you could have handled things better? Are you still sore about it?

First and foremost, you got to realize that what’s done is done. It’s over, and unless someone invents a time machine, there’s probably nothing much you can do to change the past. It’s confined to history.

If you allow yourself to be constantly dragged down by it, you will find that you are carrying a very heavy burden. With such a large baggage, it is difficult to live life to the fullest.

If you allow yourself to be greatly affected by it, you might find yourself overcome with anger, bitterness and frustration. These negative emotions are going to lower the quality of your life.

Learn to let go. Let the past be a lesson, an experience to make you stronger. If you can, avoid the same mistakes. But don’t let it become a burden to you

I know before you all tell me… that it’s very easy to advise such things bur extremely difficult to follow… cheers!!!!I am also trying hard… and as I always say… chuck it and move forward…

Shalini Nambiar
Excelsior American School