Being alone in a crowd
Have you ever felt than tingling sensation when you are in a crowd and still lonely !!!! Have you ever experienced when people around you are talking to you …you are hearing but not listening…you are physically present but mentally far away !!!!!! Sometimes that feeling of emptiness when you feel nobody is listening to you !!!!!!!
Being lonely means - I am not able to share my deepest thoughts with anyone. I have issues at home. I have issues at my office. I have issues with my relatives. I have issues with my friends.Mother-in-law……… I am carrying so much of hurt and guilt inside me. I want to do many things, and at times, I need help. I don’t know ,who to ask? I feel lonely. I feel all alone. I feel that no one understands me. Despite all my trials, I fail to share and convey my feelings
Many of you might not agree but I’ve always felt that sometimes loneliness is necessary and an healthy part of life. I don’t know where I came up with that.
I have friends with whom I try to talk about my problems. But they want to tell me theirs first. What is taken quite seriously by me, is considered ordinary by others. What do I do? How will that help? My character, and my thinking. Is something wrong with them? Who will tell me? Who will guide? I feel very disturbed at all the times. I want peace in my mind. I go out to walk alone, but my thoughts don’t leave me anywhere. This agitation of my mind is becoming intolerable. I feel lonely. I want to talk with someone who will understand my point of view and tell me what to do?
Are you one of such people? Do you feel lonely? Do you also feel that you have no one to share your deepest thoughts? Have you started feeling that everyone is selfish? No one has got time for you? No one wants to understand you? No one cares for you?
What can you do in such a situation? You may be feeling helpless, but something ought to be done.
The first step in such agitation should be to avoid thinking for sometime during a day. Involve yourself in some such activity that takes your mind away from itself. Any activity that will engross you completely.. The next step would be to find out if anyone you know is also facing such a state? How does one do that? For this you will have to shift your attention from yourself to others. Begin listening to others. Ask them about their problems and listen. You may probably find that there are few others who are also in the same boat.
Reflect!!!Ponder!!!! am I listening to others….Start by listening to others . The world is full of people who want to share and all they need is somebody to listen to ……
One who feels lonely in the crowd of people, must first raise his/her self esteem. You must say - OK. Other than god, no one will understand what I am facing. That is OK. I will set some exciting goals for myself. I will try to achieve them. For me, my life is very important. I will live my life in such a way that I feel proud of it. I am a good person and I know that. I don’t honestly care if others do not understand me. I will try to understand their problems and help them. Rather than asking for help, let me start giving……………..
Find your purpose, realize what your mission is, and accomplish your goals……………..Be a good and a patient listener …..and see the difference …..everyone would be listening to you………
Shalini Nambiar,
Director,
Excelsior American School,
Tags: alone, crowd, feelings, share thoughts
April 14 2008 01:26 am | General
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April 14th, 2008 at 11:26 am
I felt the tinge of trueness in this post of yours.. Makes everyone reflect with oneself. Gripping is the word. You have put across the problem which many of us are having in mind. Struggling and fighting in our hearts. But I disagree to the solution you have put across in the end. I suppose you wrote this part without any much thought and the professional part of you as a leader/teacher has taken over the real you in the end.
Expected a better clarity. But really heart stirring. Keep it up.
April 14th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Very gripping article which makes one think ….and yes at the end of the day each one of us is lonely and want to cry out for someone …..I agree with the earlier post the suggetion given to get over it are too idealistic…..hey writer help me if you can …i need help….
April 14th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Very well expressed Shalini. It happens to all of us I think. I definitely have these phases. However I am not so sure of the sloution offered by you.
At such times, I just need a friend who has the patience and understanding to listen to me. Without comments or advice, unless specifically asked during my narration. Just to have someone, whom one trusts with our inner thoughts and feelings, listen to us helps in unburdening the mind and soul.
At the end of the day, each of us is alone. We come alone into this world, and we leave alone. While here, each is unique and different, emotionally, intellectually. We have to find our own solutions and make them work. A truse friend helps by listening when we want him/her to do that, by offering support, when we need that, by giving advice when we ask for it ….. By doing something for us, again when we ask for it or expect it, not otherwise.
That’s my way, but then each of us is different ….
April 17th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
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April 22nd, 2008 at 11:24 am
yups …being alone yes we r all alone…..people in this world are your friends when they need you …have been so bittem with life that hats off to the author for putting the feelings so beautifully…….Where are those people who use to listen to me ….now they dont want to because im low …they like to spend time with me when Im happy ….what about those moments when i need them or more specifically him………….
June 28th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Dear Shalini
I feel this article relates to everyone once in a while and apart from being a good listener and helping others ,i feel it is important to pour out ur heart to someone u trust by just revealing ur problems to ur friend half of the tension expiates and rest half can be solved with 2 minds together as i think until u don`t trust others and ask what u need u will never get it as not everyone can read your heart and mind. it is important to ASK!!!
Thanks for writing such beautiful and heart stirring articles.
June 30th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Well, like someone said in his comments, we are actually alone always.. Being social animal and the way we have been brought up, we tend to associate ourself with our fellow beings more than many other things existing there in the nature..If we analyze it carefully, we wud realize that we have been taught right from the beginning, how to be unhappy..We are always taught to compete, to excel, to do more and better than others, to do more and earn more materials and wealth..My trying to be different than others makes me “ALONE”..I try to carry a different identity, pose different style, diffrent status and thus get into that black hole called “LONELINESS”…
The day we realize that we are our best friend and the best company, we wont need anybody and wud never be alone ever…
August 18th, 2008 at 10:29 am
hello..i’m a 12 yrs old girl..sometimes i feel alone too..when no one understands…sometimes i dont really know who i am..and what makes me happy..i’m insecure..and i’m walking..but not on my mind..plss advice me..i’m insecure so insecure and jealous..
August 18th, 2008 at 10:35 am
hello..!!! i’m beth i have a problem now..of love…i dont have a partner in life,,i’m so alone..i have one daugher 12 yrs old..i’m 12 yrs separated 32 yrs old..its hard to be a single mom..when you shoulder all your problems and cant show to your daughter that you have so many problems..i want a partner in life to love ,me and understand me and to help me…in future till we get old together..
August 18th, 2008 at 10:40 am
hi me again..the 12 yrs old girl from philippines..i dont know why i’m not happy,,and i dont know why i’m insecure and jealous..i’m impatient..and sometimes hard to handle..i’m first year high school.. going to school evryday seem like a burden because of my classmates..i dont like some of them..can you plsss advice how to be happy?? and dont mind other people
August 18th, 2008 at 10:51 am
hello again
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