Being alone in a crowd

  - April 14th, 2008 by Shalini Nambiar | Posted in General   19 Comments »
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Have you ever felt than tingling sensation when you are in a crowd and still lonely !!!! Have you ever experienced when people around you are talking to you …you are hearing but not listening…you are physically present but mentally far away !!!!!! Sometimes that feeling of emptiness when you feel nobody is listening to you !!!!!!!

Being lonely means – I am not able to share my deepest thoughts with anyone. I have issues at home. I have issues at my office. I have issues with my relatives. I have issues with my friends.Mother-in-law……… I am carrying so much of hurt and guilt inside me. I want to do many things, and at times, I need help. I don’t know ,who to ask? I feel lonely. I feel all alone. I feel that no one understands me. Despite all my trials, I fail to share and convey my feelings

Many of you might not agree but I’ve always felt that sometimes loneliness is necessary and an healthy part of life. I don’t know where I came up with that.

I have friends with whom I try to talk about my problems. But they want to tell me theirs first. What is taken quite seriously by me, is considered ordinary by others. What do I do? How will that help? My character, and my thinking. Is something wrong with them? Who will tell me? Who will guide? I feel very disturbed at all the times. I want peace in my mind. I go out to walk alone, but my thoughts don’t leave me anywhere. This agitation of my mind is becoming intolerable. I feel lonely. I want to talk with someone who will understand my point of view and tell me what to do?

Are you one of such people? Do you feel lonely? Do you also feel that you have no one to share your deepest thoughts? Have you started feeling that everyone is selfish? No one has got time for you? No one wants to understand you? No one cares for you?

What can you do in such a situation? You may be feeling helpless, but something ought to be done.

The first step in such agitation should be to avoid thinking for sometime during a day. Involve yourself in some such activity that takes your mind away from itself. Any activity that will engross you completely.. The next step would be to find out if anyone you know is also facing such a state? How does one do that? For this you will have to shift your attention from yourself to others. Begin listening to others. Ask them about their problems and listen. You may probably find that there are few others who are also in the same boat.

Reflect!!!Ponder!!!! am I listening to others….Start by listening to others . The world is full of people who want to share and all they need is somebody to listen to ……

One who feels lonely in the crowd of people, must first raise his/her self esteem. You must say – OK. Other than god, no one will understand what I am facing. That is OK. I will set some exciting goals for myself. I will try to achieve them. For me, my life is very important. I will live my life in such a way that I feel proud of it. I am a good person and I know that. I don’t honestly care if others do not understand me. I will try to understand their problems and help them. Rather than asking for help, let me start giving……………..

Find your purpose, realize what your mission is, and accomplish your goals……………..Be a good and a patient listener …..and see the difference …..everyone would be listening to you………

Shalini Nambiar,
Director,
Excelsior American School,

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April 14 2008 01:26 am | General

19 Responses to “Being alone in a crowd”

  1. Reader Says:

    I felt the tinge of trueness in this post of yours.. Makes everyone reflect with oneself. Gripping is the word. You have put across the problem which many of us are having in mind. Struggling and fighting in our hearts. But I disagree to the solution you have put across in the end. I suppose you wrote this part without any much thought and the professional part of you as a leader/teacher has taken over the real you in the end.
    Expected a better clarity. But really heart stirring. Keep it up.

  2. Mayank Bhutani Says:

    Very gripping article which makes one think ….and yes at the end of the day each one of us is lonely and want to cry out for someone …..I agree with the earlier post the suggetion given to get over it are too idealistic…..hey writer help me if you can …i need help….

  3. Jaspal Says:

    Very well expressed Shalini. It happens to all of us I think. I definitely have these phases. However I am not so sure of the sloution offered by you.

    At such times, I just need a friend who has the patience and understanding to listen to me. Without comments or advice, unless specifically asked during my narration. Just to have someone, whom one trusts with our inner thoughts and feelings, listen to us helps in unburdening the mind and soul.

    At the end of the day, each of us is alone. We come alone into this world, and we leave alone. While here, each is unique and different, emotionally, intellectually. We have to find our own solutions and make them work. A truse friend helps by listening when we want him/her to do that, by offering support, when we need that, by giving advice when we ask for it ….. By doing something for us, again when we ask for it or expect it, not otherwise.

    That’s my way, but then each of us is different ….

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  5. Anonymous Says:

    yups …being alone yes we r all alone…..people in this world are your friends when they need you …have been so bittem with life that hats off to the author for putting the feelings so beautifully…….Where are those people who use to listen to me ….now they dont want to because im low …they like to spend time with me when Im happy ….what about those moments when i need them or more specifically him………….

  6. monica Says:

    Dear Shalini
    I feel this article relates to everyone once in a while and apart from being a good listener and helping others ,i feel it is important to pour out ur heart to someone u trust by just revealing ur problems to ur friend half of the tension expiates and rest half can be solved with 2 minds together as i think until u don`t trust others and ask what u need u will never get it as not everyone can read your heart and mind. it is important to ASK!!!
    Thanks for writing such beautiful and heart stirring articles.

  7. Anil Dhyani Says:

    Well, like someone said in his comments, we are actually alone always.. Being social animal and the way we have been brought up, we tend to associate ourself with our fellow beings more than many other things existing there in the nature..If we analyze it carefully, we wud realize that we have been taught right from the beginning, how to be unhappy..We are always taught to compete, to excel, to do more and better than others, to do more and earn more materials and wealth..My trying to be different than others makes me “ALONE”..I try to carry a different identity, pose different style, diffrent status and thus get into that black hole called “LONELINESS”…

    The day we realize that we are our best friend and the best company, we wont need anybody and wud never be alone ever…

  8. cleo Says:

    hello..i’m a 12 yrs old girl..sometimes i feel alone too..when no one understands…sometimes i dont really know who i am..and what makes me happy..i’m insecure..and i’m walking..but not on my mind..plss advice me..i’m insecure so insecure and jealous..

  9. maribeth Says:

    hello..!!! i’m beth i have a problem now..of love…i dont have a partner in life,,i’m so alone..i have one daugher 12 yrs old..i’m 12 yrs separated 32 yrs old..its hard to be a single mom..when you shoulder all your problems and cant show to your daughter that you have so many problems..i want a partner in life to love ,me and understand me and to help me…in future till we get old together..

  10. cleo Says:

    hi me again..the 12 yrs old girl from philippines..i dont know why i’m not happy,,and i dont know why i’m insecure and jealous..i’m impatient..and sometimes hard to handle..i’m first year high school.. going to school evryday seem like a burden because of my classmates..i dont like some of them..can you plsss advice how to be happy?? and dont mind other people

  11. maribeth Says:

    hello again
    my mobile 09077071004

  12. Shalini Says:

    Hey Cleo and Maribeth

    I happen to read your comments and felt sad .Yups we all have our moments of sadness and loneliness but remember that life has to move on . It’s extremely important to look for positivity , feel good about yourself .
    Cleo you need to stop feeling insecured and start doing this …Look into the mirror everyday morning and tell yourself ..’I am the best and I am good’ ….The only person who can help us to overcome our insecurities is us ourself …look for ways to smile and make others smile …that gives one immense satisfaction and security …We are all alone …it’s just a fallacy that people help us …no it’s only we who can help ourself…Read the following story it will make you realise ..and do send me your emails so that I can forward you more positive posts and make you feel the difference . The best part about you both remember is that you know what is bothering you and for every problem the solution lies with us only . Be positive and you will attract all positivity towrads yourself. Read this story….

    ? A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: “I am blind, please help.” There were only a few coins in the hat.

    A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

    Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, “Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?”
    The man said, “I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.”
    What he had written was: “Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.”

    Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?

    Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?
    Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

    Invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

    Great men say, “Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness…. In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience.”

    The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling…
    And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!
    Remember: WHEN YOU’RE BUSY JUDGING PEOPLE,

    YOU HAVE NO TIME TO LOVE THEM.

    Cheers !!! and enjoy urself as we live only once and life is too short to feel insecured and unhappy …….

  13. Shalini Says:

    My email is nambiar.shalini@gmail.com …Well I am the author of this Blog and want to help you guys out ….

  14. kerrylee2004 Says:

    good

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